Thank You For Being My Friend

So, I’ve been struggling a little lately in my walk. I have been questioning my relationship with Jesus; and questioning not His faithfulness, but my own. I don’t question that He loves me more that I can fathom notwithstanding any sin I could commit or any good work I could perform. I have seen the miracles He has performed in my life, both great and small and know that they have no bearing on how good or bad I am. So, knowing these things and truly experiencing that love, that is unlike any other love I have ever experienced, I wonder why in recent months I just don’t seem to have the close relationship I once believed I had with Him. What has changed? As the Mercy Me song Bring the Rain says “How could circumstances possibly change who I forever am in [Him]?”

To answer these questions, I know I must ultimately seek His eternal wisdom; but in that search I began to think about the evolution of earthly relationships in my life. Truly, there should be no real comparison between my relationship with Jesus and those of my earthly friends and family; but I have begun to realize that perhaps I have distorted something here, and seen Jesus through a worldly filter rather than a spiritual one. In these earthly relationships I have examined, I have noticed a few patterns of behavior that are disturbing to say the least.

The most notable example I have is a recently ended friendship. This friend was once my best friend in the world. She was like a sister to me. We did everything together and were inseparable. We were there for each other in good times and bad, and truly enjoyed each other’s company, as any close friends should. We were friends, not because of what we did for each other, but just simply because we appreciated “who” the other was. We didn’t always agree with one another, but we helped and loved each other despite those differences. In the seven years of our friendship, things changed over time. In some ways we grew closer, and in others farther apart. The last year of our friendship became strained and ultimately unraveled when I moved to a new place further from her. Obviously, the move alone was not the sole catalyst for the demise of our friendship as a whole. There were more pressing and longer standing issues between us; as there might be in any close relationship that just were never overcome. I realize now, though, that the distance was the final straw, so to speak. The physical distance caused a breakdown in communication on both sides because it was no longer as easy as dropping by, running out to grab a quick meal together, or making any other last minute plans. We now had to “plan” to be friends. What a drag! We began to resent one another for lack of availability, or effort, or any other number of extenuating circumstances; and eventually just stopped communicating all together.

Communication – that word seems to be the key here. In the course of assessing this failed relationship I noted that there were some issues between us over time that were never resolved. Hmmm, forgiveness is another word that comes to mind here. Clearly there can be forgiveness without an apology, but I think a simple conversation - communication - might have ushered in that much needed forgiveness, and curtailed any building feelings of frustration. This lack of communication bread resentment on both sides and festered until there was an explosion that rocked the very foundation of our friendship.

So, how does that apply to my relationship with my Creator? Well, I have noticed that that as my work schedule has become more chaotic, and other things have “come up” in my life, that I may have grown a little distant from Him; and now that distance and lack of communication is starting to affect my relationship with Him. I still love Him, I know He has not changed, but maybe I have. Maybe I have actually put something between me and God; a distance. WOW! I don’t want to be far from Him! I don’t want anything to come between us! How could I have let this happen? What if I have treated my relationship with Him the way I treated my ended friendship? As History shows with my failed earthly friendship, I could actually end up not having a relationship with Him at all. That is frightening! The good news is, that like in the story of the prodigal son, I can always return to Him, and He will welcome me with open arms; very much unlike my dearly departed earthly friendship.

Thank you Jesus! Thank you for revealing to me what a slippery slope “life” can be. Thank you for communicating with me in a way I was unable to do with you. Thank you for forgiving me even before I asked for forgiveness. Thank you for being my friend.